I am not feeling right... I knew it myself, I think is really the time i let go and move on, it's no point i continue being like tat... It won't do me any good and i am tired... Jem is right, better leave things as it is... Do everyone good and everyone will have a happy ending..

Had sakae with jemmy today, enjoyed the food like totally is super nice haha but my pocket have a big big hole haha... Anyway i got nth to write and i feel tat i should be more personal towards my stuff, so should be posting lesser and lesser on my blog...

I holiday mood le haha today last day of school, trying to endure finish lifeskills the three hours without killling myself haha...

Don't know why, getting more and more pissed off when i think abt going to school, even i have my own click of friends, i still feel that it is very weird to go school and i hate it... But i still have two years more to endure finish the course b4 i get my cert and move on to poly hais... I can only blame myself for doing badly in my O-levels so i have to suffer now... But i still have min abi jm stanley they all so i will undure finish my course and be more cheerful when i go school hais...

I feel that i am changing compared to the past me... I changed since my O-level results were out... I really dun mean to change but i have to endure hais... I just feel that it is not me man i think too highly of myself i keep telling myself, no matter how lousy you are, you will still have a poly to get in de dun worry lah... But it turned out to be different feeling so regertfully now, i should have worked doublely hard and make sure i pass my math hais... No point in saying all these now right? Guess i have to move on with my life and endure finish the 2 years hais...

I start to feel diff for some things hope that time will move on fast and by the time i reach half a year to one year i will not feel the diff le... For now guess i just have to try avoid it and not to get so close barhx... I am always ending up hurting myself so i have learnt my lesson this time to stay away as far as possible...

Finally, i am motivated to post something haha, recently busy with exams but thankfully, i passed my BZE and CMB, i did not bad..... OFA hehe i dun noe yet haha cuz today just finished but managed to do leh so i think should be okay de.....

Now feeling a bit relaxed, just wanna slow down my steps and wait to enjoy the upcoming holidays hehe:) so now only wanna work hard on my Os and relax a bit....... So now posting until here le wanna nappy le...... Hehe.......

A day filled with happiness......

Today was good day as i can feel, firstly there is no school, i have dinner with jemina, i met him at lakeside mrt and had JM entertaining me when i went to city hall to grow mushroom haha...... Also, SUPER GLUE never went ot tution OMG so happy haha.....

Woke up at ard 10 plus and had breakfast then prepare and bath the went to cafe to have my lunch and study. Reached there ard 12 plus had fish o spagettie and ice cuppicno haha i dun noe how to spell so 4get abt it.. Studied for 2 full hours on BZE and eng compo. Then JM called and then knowing i going to city hall he wanted to tag along haha.

Went to popular to help my mum buy stuff then trained to city hall reached there earlier then JM then went to HMV his way of appearing makes me laugh again haha.... I wanna say, thx sister for being such an entertaining friend when i went there to grow mushroom haha even when is like super hot and when you step into esplanade your face is even more dumb haha but you seriously made my day.

Walked around with him and to bugis then we trained ard 6. We are earlier then jammy and hiang teck so we trained to joon koon and then come back, i am like playing with his phone cam and it was so fun haha.... Then said buaiz to JM and alighted at lake side while he train back to jurong east..... When i reached jemmy and hiang teck was already at down stairs and i called them while jemmy sounded super duper excited cuz he was at lakeside my god i was like so shocked and me him and jemmy walked together. I have the chong dong to tell him some stuff but ended up i stopped myself i just can't pluck up the courage. Was late for tution cuz me and jemmy had dinner late then tution went on the fun way cuz SUPER GLUE is not there haha okay i am mean but is hard to explain......

Anw, had a best day of my life since the start of school and i enjoyed myself....:)

Why is it so hard to be a loner? Sometimes i just needed to be alone, is tat so hard? Oh well who says time passes by very fast? Everyday is a like a torture to me man......

I am not joking when i say i am struggling, i am still looking for the piece of wood in the vast ocean, for me to hold onto and make sure that i will be save..... but i still can't find it anywhere nearby, people say i am easy to get along with... But am i? I feel tat this is not the way man, i wanna to blend it, but i ended up being bounced out once and again...... Now every weekday is just like a plain torture to me...... Is hard to face it man but i have no choice at all...... Who ask me to end up like tat kast year? I have no one to blame but myself seriously......

Now i cannot do anything but to pray hard tat two years will passby in a blink of an eye and everything will end soon also i have a chance to leave..........

It is another typical sunday, the first post in may....... Oh well sch started for almost like a month, and everything turns out still okay barhx but it just feel quite different as my sec sch days, even i have made a few good friends, i sould still miss my sec sch buds....... I noe is no point thinking tat would it be better if i am inside a poly, but sometimes these thoughts just come into my mind without i noticing myself.......

Now my life is filled with tution on mondays, fridays and sundays oso i have school at the same time, recently just found out on how i am still thinking of you, even when i thought tat it would be lesser after sch reopened and i have things to work on, but is all fakish, my mind is till working i will only be able to forget on the moment that i die and it stooped functioning........

I have became more and more pig man, i slept till 12 plus today and i am still able to sleep haiz..... But maybe sleeping is the only way out for me to forget abt things barhx...... Ms ema is leaving and i do feel a bit upset, as she is the type of teacher i wouldn't thought of finding at I.T.E cuz i thought that they wouldn't care much less abt the students, she is a very thoughtful and nice teacher i must say and i do hope that she will still come back to see us when she is free haha..... Cuz we dun have the money to fly to australia haha........

That will be all for today haha, b4 i forget, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO MY 2 GRANDMA AND MUMMY, ALSO TO ALL THE MUMS ON EARTH......

Posting again, can't believe tat only opened school for 3 weeks and things started to go wrong already haiz... There is more drama in sec sch here man i dun really know how to handle such a situtation, there is wrong in everyone this time.

Oh well, i have nth to say anyway, i just wanna be neutral to everyone and i feel tat no one should be left out de... Is my thinking too childish or is the peaceful i wanted too much too ask? I seriously dun know, i feel tat we work out quite well as a group but maybe is just misunderstanding tat is causing the problems, i feel too tired to settle things anymonre, i have enough of this stuff back in sec sch and i dun really wanna see it again in an institiuet, but guess tat this kind of stuff may happen anywhere i go is like i can't stop it from happening......

Not in the mood to say anyomore, hope tat everything will turn out fine between things and everything will turn out well, and let me finish my studies in peace barhx..... Meeting jemmy and tian tml feeling excited cuz can get to see them again whee............