Can never get anything done

It have been weeks since i worked, most likely i should already know what to do, get it done well & so that everything will run smoothly, but somehow i'm always screwing things up & make a mess out of everything. Being an intern i can never help much in admin work which i should, & everytime i'm given a job somehow i don't know why things will screw up & also i can never handle it well. I always shoot out something which i shouldn't & make people angry, sometimes i really hate myself so much that i feel like slapping myself in the face, nothing bloody nothing in the world i can do right staff deployment i'm too slow, distribution i can screw up the number of audio gudies, staff not cooprtative ticketing i can have problems & almost everywhere i go, something wrong will always happened.

Felt so screwd up not only at work, but also my family life, always having money issues which will in turn argue with my mum, & sometimes it affect my mood & will in turn screw up my work, which i don't want to but what can i do? I never want to argue with her at all? It's just i can't seems to do what she's pleased & i have my own way to do things which she doesn't like. No matter how much i try my best things will still screw up, & seriously can't take it anymore am i such a failure in life? I'm only 18 i should be good at most of the things i do, not so screwed up at everything right?? Same goes for my relationship is like i have nothing to say just one word: SUCK & is ttm. Looking at him i don't know what to do, i failed in so much things in life, when i'm only 18 seriously how the fuck am i gonna continue my entire life, when i still have so much more road to continue walking? Will i fail for my entire life? I don't want to you know? Maybe i should seriously consider what & how am i gonna continue my life journey...

Old Airport Road & Berrylite

Met up with Abi, Sean & Stanley for dinner at old airport road supposed to meet them at 7pm, but was damn late due to some issues sorry guys for making you all wait for me for so long. Walked to the hawker at old airport road and had a bit of problem finding seats, but managed to in the end & the ordering of food is landed on me & Abi haha. Ordered corckels, BBQ prawn & Squid, fried oyster omelet, spicy kangkong & of course their famous tauhuay. Food came all of us was like damn hungry & we dig in without waiting like a glutton, went to berrylite at parkway after dinner as usual wihile on the way there i'm being targeted & "bullied" by dear sean & stanley-_- Reached berrylite and stanley treated us yogurt with 3 different toppings heh=) Had a cam wore over there, joking about lots of things & spent a quality time there, after that head home with abi as we took 76 to paya lebar while sean crossed opposite to bus back to bedok, stanley waited for his friend who is on duty today & they went home together. Abi thanks for the Christmas card you gave me, i feel so touched by what you wrote thanks so much<3 Anyway i had a great time with the 3 of them, and i hope we will be able to meet up soon again, i shall let the pictures do the talking till then=)

Out with Mu Lan & Yu Xin

Had a shopping trip with mu lan & yu xin today, was supposed to meet them at 12 but i overslept & was late. Sorry guys=( I guess i'm too tired that's why i can't seem to wake up.

Took the train to bugis & i had a quick lunch takoyaki with ice-cream milktea, then accompany mu lan & yu xin for their new year clothes shopping trip. I got myself a new nail polish colour, nail buffer & also a pink monkey t-shit, I don't know why i brought pink but it's not very pinkish and i loved it alot=) Head over to orchard after the shopping trip & i must say mu lan & yu xin brought quite a number of items haha=) Shopped around and of course buying of even more stuff, finally we all are too tired ended up taking 105 back to jurong east & change to 333 to head home.

I missed the times where only 3 of us went out and called as taozii again, i know the name sounds stupid luh but is part of my memories & they are all my best friends=) Shall post till here & upload some pics till then=)

Sick

Worked in the office & chiong ppt till 10 plus everyday last week, and work non-stop for the past one week. Results? Fell sick=(

Cried at SMO yesterday because too much things going around me, stress that i won't do well for IEP, stress that DSG will be screwed up, worry that not enough coordinators to work, when so many of us falling sick, worried that i will screw up the event when i work as an IC, thinking about a non-ending problem when i'm stuck in that bloody situation. So many happening at one go i can't take it anymore, lost the strong me ever since i got my Os result 2 years ago. I don't mean to dwell on it, espically since i'm graduating soon when 2 years pass by so quickly. I notice that my strong personality is being eaten away bit by bit, ever since i turn 17? The results? The relationship? Poly issues? So much to add on i know i shouldn't be complaining because there are people put there who are worse off then me, but yea i admit that i lost i can't take it anymore. I have to work harder to polish myself if not how am i gonna face even greater challenges next time in life, when i can't even take such small set-backs? Guess learning to embrace problems, solve & tackle it are one of my priorities in my entire life hope i won't take too long to master this skill.

Now trying to rest as much as possible and to recover soon, hate to fall sick been falling sick a lot this year, maybe too much things already hope next year won't be the same?

2nd week of an intern life

Basically this week i can only say horrendous-.- Is a super busy week where i'm going home like at least 8pm daily? A lot of work to be done & really operations is a huge hole with so many things that needs to be filled up, it's really almost endless and suddenly new & more things starts to pop out, but i'm learning a lot so i'm really quite happy regarding that.

I hope to slim down while i work as an intern as the stress level is like a halehluya, but i think i'm gaining weight-_- Know why? I'm not only having dinner late, i'm having all the unhealthy fast food, also with my 20% discount i keep having small middle breaks, while doing my work so as to distress. With my heavy intake of breakfast recently, due to the shopping center opposite my work place so you can see why i'm fat uh. My event is starting soon with the OC on tuesday so gonna work doubly hard, & make sure i won't screw up.

Till here then=) See you soon^^