宣泄

我只需要一个地方宣泄我心里的感受。

他们说两个好朋友只要谁先爱上谁，那个人就输了。我很怕我会输，可能因为上一段的伤害让我始终都无法相信男人，加上你又是那么捉摸不定的一个人让我无法对你有任何感觉却又无法漠视你在我心里的重要性。你的好，你的白痴，你的温柔是那么的好。可是心里的那一个障碍让我无法爱上你。我们算什么？一个我很想问却又问不出口的问题。我最怕的就是我把你当成他的替代品，或许你也把我当成了她的替代品吧。我们这样下去会好吗？你说不要去烦恼未发生的事情，让未来的我们去担心吧。可是我不相信在你心里你从来不曾质问自己，或许你有吧我们竟是如此的相似却越走越远。

还又许多我不曾提起却围绕着我的问题，看来我们之间的未来一点也不乐观。或许我会悄悄的离开吧，只要没有开始我就不会失去不是吗？至少我不会失去你，也不会失去对我而言非常重要的人。

Confession

You are like a very best friend to me, i never met someone which we think, feel and everything so alike just like a soul mate, we said it before and we're even surprised how alike our family & house is, everything is just such a coincidence. Also i can't deny that you brought a special impact into my life, and I don't know if i would ever feel anything special for you or not, but i really might one day is just that i don't know when will it be. Maybe when I've gotten over him? Maybe a year? Or maybe my six months policy might not work out this time, because you're just so special somehow. But for now we're best of friends and what we lack is that "feel" between us, i don't know if we ever might feel anything between us, but let's just allow things to be natural and see how it goes yea? But there is something which i wanna tell you, but i always never said it out or maybe i won't ever say it out.

"If one day you ever feel that i felt something special for you, & if you felt the same please do tell me about it, but if you don't feel anything special, then just pretend that you don't know anything or never feel anything okay?"