Yes as the title states a week filled with mixed emotions. Why? A couple of reasons though let's begin from the top.
This is how i am feeling now for the first three parts:/ All i see are darkness:(
School started, one week passed by, new school term, new classmates, new everything. So basically i have to start from scratch to get to know new people and everything. So my class is basically okay, made a couple of friends with Radhika & Hai Minh as my campaign, as i know them since starts of school. My class is actually quite alright but there is this crazy guy, who is really over the top seriously i know i can't blame him or anything because it looks like he have autism. But he even though he have illness he is wayyy over-board man, cursing, taking off his clothes & harassing people and everything. Just one way to describe him, he is creepy ttm really OMG. He is really affecting me in class sia, i know i know i shouldn't bother about him, but how to when he is in your class? So i guess i have to endure and control this whole sem before i end up in IMH. Feel really mentally tortured everyday in school:/
Secondly, i don't know if i should continue my studies & course or not, as i am not really talented in science, but i love science:/ I don't seem to be able to cope well with my studies currently, not as well as how i used to be in I.T.E. I know i shouldn't give up halfway especially when i am finishing year one very soon, but i don't know how to go in and i really need serious reconditions and thinking, if i really want to move on in life, and have a clear idea of what i really wanna do, the situation now is just like when i look up the sky, and all i see is one whole patch of darkness.
Thirdly, i mentioned that i make some friends previously right? Actually i don't know if i can click well with them or not, it's been a week and i still feel awkward. How i wish that i'm able to feel really comfortable with them like how i am with my sem 01 classmates, but i know that everything needs time and we can't be familiar so fast or soon, so i guess i will have to try my best? Worried all day because of friendship issues.
Hoho happy birthday Bro:D
Our surprise attack on Quebec:) Haha manage to smear chocolate cake on his arms:X But he is in a mess all thanks to us hahaXD
Let's move on to happy things shall we? Anw celebrated Quebec's birthday on friday, our sem 01 class planned a surprise for him, still have to put on an act to pretend that yuki is late, and all of us is busy doing ppt so no one is lunching with him yet. I'm glad it turns out well & we really manage to give him the surprise:) Also manage to smear chocolate cake on his arms haha, i not so evil to smear them on his face can? :P HahaXD anyway wanna say " Happy 20th Birthday Ah bao:D Glad to have known you & having such a good bro. Stay cheerful always & ps *faster get a girlfriend, so i'll be spared:P*
Awesome gang<3 Had a great time with you guys, thanks for being part of my life for this 3 years:)
Happy Birthday PY:D Glad for our friendship for 3 years^^ All the nonsense we had together is seriously no joke man heheXD
Another happy issue, also celebrated Abi's 20th birthday on friday as well. Oh well she & Quebec was born on the same year, same month & even same date, how coincidental is that? Both also my close friends:) Anyway met the gang after classes, we had steamboat, and after that we went to St. Games to play. We "formed" a band and had a few awesome games, good thing i manage to distress and had lots of fun, next we move on to kinect dancing and they call me "hiao po" can. Like hallo i only dance according marhx tsk, *pouts* but i understand luhh they are only joking with me:)I'm glad that abi likes the gift we prepared for her, been with this gang of people for the 3rd year, and i must say they are bunch of best buddies, really brighten up my life and making me happy. Anyway happy 20th birthday PY:D Love you lots^^
So basically this is how my whole week went by, it's feel with mixed emotions, from the front where i feel freaked out, to the second where i feel upset and i see no future, to how i feel worried about my new friends and lastly to the 2 happy events this week which brightens up my life. So my emotion is basically like a roller coaster, a week filled with mixed emotions. Will end this post for here now, i guess i'm too naggy and it have been a long post, will put up some pictures:) Till the next time then:)
Sunday, 21 October 2012
Monday, 15 October 2012
Thinking Too Much
Photo from google images:)
As the saying goes, "old habits die hard" i had this bad habit of mine following me ever since i'm young, what is the bad habit? The habit which most girls have which is thinking too much.
I keep thinking about everything, from studies to life, this incident which is around me now, there is this friend of mine which i can talk to quite well he is my previous sem classmate and due to the fact that we both stayed at west side, thus we manage to talk well. The class started the rumours about us, and recently it was made till quite big that his I.T.E friends also somehow found out about this & jokes about us as well. The problem is, i can't seem to find out how or what he's feeling normally any guy who don't have the slightest bit of interest in the girl, would at least deny or looks annoyed. But the thing is he is neither showing any, and at the same time i know very well that he's not interested at all, but why is he being like that?
Yesterday went home with him and another friend, apparently after friday's incident where his I.T.E friends disturbed us, i started to avoid a bit yes i only talk more to another friend because i feel awkward. Also i sense he's somehow avoiding me as well, so other than feeling weird & awkward i really don't know how to feel anymore. Tried to be normal and talk to him but idk i can't make it OMG my face is filled with "hey i'm feeling weird" look, we texted & chatted like normal when both of us reach home but it's so different when we face each other and i miss him & my friend, i had such wonderful west buddies from poly which i don't wanna lose. I admit i have good feelings for him but is not to the extent which i actually like or falls in love with him, if all these continues i guess it would become "Officially i'm avoiding you" which is what i don't wanna happen.
I feel so lost and i keep thinking about it, how he feels how i feel awkward & weird this and that. I tried convincing myself that "don't think too much about this, it doesn't mean ANYTHING." But apparently is not helping so now how? Idk and i really hope to find an answer real soon:(
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