Life's hard, everybody's life is hard who doesn't have a hard life? I once heard one saying "We are all born into this world to suffer." Yea i guess this saying was right after all wasn't it? When i am too innocent and joyful before i was 16 i actually took it for granted, now i guess i can't turn back the time anymore.
So for the past 3 years, i have been trying to endure, apparently it became worse when i enter poly. Taking up a course which i thought i could make it, but apparently i think too highly of myself, why would a person who failed science during her Os be able to do A-level science? I don't know what i am thinking now or whatever, i don't know how to share other than endure my life away, i shouldn't say how horrible my life is comparing to other people who maybe dying away or worse off than me but i am really feeling horrible, so horrible that i just want to lock myself away with my earpiece, drama and my beer...
How do i numb myself? Or even make myself feel better? I can only laugh like a crazy women, cry like no tomorrow and drown my sorrows in a pint once every 2 weeks? I can't get overboard i'm afraid that i will turn out to be alcoholic. But somehow it makes me sleepy after drinking, and when i feel sleepy i will turn in and then i will numb myself away from this horrible world. It's a cause and effect issue and i guess i will continue until i can find a relief which i don't know when...
How do i make myself feel better? Or even numb myself? I watch drama, which allows me to laugh like a crazy, cry like a mad women and used up 2 to 3 packets of tissues, plus a pint of beer every 2 weeks i guess? Laugh, cry and numb what i needed the most...
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