Jacket

In the end, i fall for you. i wouldn't say that it's love, but more like i have special feelings for you instead, and guess what? I realized that due to a very bad situation. Remember the promise which you made to me? You said if i'm upset and i needed you, once i call you and you will try your best to appear and be there for me. You got angry and said this privilege was revoked because i never call you? Do you know how upset i felt? How hurt am i? Twice i hold back for not calling because firstly i don't wanna be like her, you are not my who you know, how in the world can i do this? Secondly no guy have ever treat me so well before, not even my ex-boyfriend, is just so not real you know? Also since young i'm always the one which my friends lean on, they depended on me and i am always the strong one. I'm so afraid that i got attached to you do you know that? Because you doesn't belong to me, i can never walk into your heart, so the only harsh thing i can do to myself is to not be attached to you. Thirdly, ever since previous incident, i'm very cautious towards guys i'm so afraid of getting hurt, and you almost made me let-go, and if anything would to happen i wouldn't hesitate to call you, but no now everything changed because of you.


People tell me that the vibe we 2 gave is very different, but i can't seem to feel anything because i felt that you seem to treat every girl almost the same. But what you did makes me linger and think about what they say, which guy would give his personal jacket to a girl who is not his girlfriend? Which guy would suddenly grab you on your waist and hug you so tightly like he's so afraid that you'll disappear? Tell me please? I hate to linger down there like one idiot and think like mad, where i won't even get an answer or whatsoever. You never know that i'm so afraid to get attached to you, instead i transfer my attachment to the jacket which you gave me. The over-sized feeling when the jacket was on me, it feels as though your just beside me, hugging me tightly and your smell the smell that belongs to you, just you. Now that school ended, i guess we'll be apart and it's so hard to see you. Maybe like what my friends say "It'll be good for you to be away from him, your feelings might be washed away and you might not even like him anymore in the future." But i guess it's not gonna work, because your jacket is still with me, which means a part of your would always be with me...