All i ever wanted, was just a simple life, average reults, good family and friends relations. But non of these were happenning, is just that all of my life is turning up side down, but there is nothing much which i could do about it......

I know that the way which i keep habouring on my results, will not do anything to help, but is just that as everyday passby, seeing all my friends preparing for poly, my life is just not turning better, having to face the fact that everyone gets to a poly and the feeling is just hard to explain, but i cannot blame anyone expect myself, sometimes i just want to seal myself in my own house, but now this house is making me feel like turning away from them.

Even my mum claim that she understands and will not blame me, i just don't feel they way that she does i can still sense that deep inside, she is still blaming me still feels upset... The things that she said keep whiring in my mind " Mummy thought that no matter how lousy is your results, you can still get into republic poly, but in the end..... Hiaz nevermind just go on with your school" I am feeling equally upset abt my results, and i just can't feel the fact that she understands my feelings or maybe is just that i am too senstive. No one is feeling any worse than me in the world okay?

I am just getting more and more pissed off and i hate myself to the core, even when ppl will think that i am too over and should get over my results now, but is not them, so no one will ever understands....