To L...

L text on Saturday morning 2am. It's just a simple message to ask me how am I, from feeling so annoyed thinking that "why hasn't he give up?" Till i slowly feel that maybe he's just being nice, but i still chose to not reply him even though i feel like to. Not because of the fact that i still have any feelings for him, is just somehow i sense his sincerity and i hope things between us isn't that ugly. But what i'm afraid of is me giving him false hope on how i feel, but i guess I thought too highly of myself? Because i saw his instagram today & it's somehow hinting that he's gonna get married. I don't know if it's true or not or why is he getting married at such a young age of 22, but to me it's not important anymore because 2 years passed so many things happened and i guess we both changed. I realised that maybe i had my wrongs too, i shouldn't keep thinking that i'm the victim and i suffered because of him, although i feel that his reason is really crap that time. I guess my wrong would be i'm too harsh towards him and maybe to him i'm heartless? There's so much problem and issues between us, we got together when we didn't know each other well enough, we didn't have enough trust between us and we fail to see the problem between us and solve it together. You ran away and i cried alone totally void you out because i'm really hurt what you promised me you never make it happen.

But anyway what happened between us it's already in the past, maybe when i pushed you away for the past 2 years is because i'm afraid of all the problems between us, and slowly I moved on from you. Maybe i didn't even love that deep previously that's why i manage to move on? I don't know but towards you, i really thought of you as my future before and i'm very serious about it. Maybe by not giving you a second chance, I let go of a guy who love me, and who love me a lot. But i'm grateful for that love which i in the end did not return. Even though i maybe single for the rest of my life, it actually doesn't matter.
To L, if you're really getting married, i wish you happiness & a blissful life ahead of you and one last thing i have to tell you. "我真心真意的祝福永恆在你的身上先發生，而你還是要幸福千萬不要再招惹別人哭了。"

In loving memory always...

It's been 2 weeks since my dearest 2nd aunt departed the world. Even up to today i still can't believe it that she's gone but i guess i have to accept it no matter what isn't it? Thinking back, she really suffered in the last few months of her life so i told myself that she wouldn't be suffering anymore when she leave this world isn't it? Is just that our family seems torn apart with her departure and my smallest uncle being sick as well. I guess the only memory, fully bonded that's been left for us is the one and only full family picture which we had and to my dearest aunt, even though you left you'll always be remembered & live in our hearts.

The Pain Of Falling For A Guy Who Only ‘Kinda’ Likes You

It's really miserable when you invest your time and emotions into someone and remain unsure of where you stand.

When i have to question how you feels, the answer which you gave me only makes me feel is “He likes you, but probably not enough.”

It just keeps lingering in the backs of my minds: Why He can say so many sweet things, be so open and yet, he cannot give us what i want, which is usually a committed relationship.

Slowly i came to understand and even realise that i will cling to the slight glimpse of hope, and i will rationalize reasons to stay in this ambiguous relationship and i just feel like he took something from me and left a void i'll now have to fill. So i guess currently is just the fact that i'm lying to myself isn't it?

You know what? I know that you're broken and slowly your're breaking me up into as broken as how you are currently.

"不愛你的男人不要賴著臉皮貼上去，努力換不來愛情，感動也不是愛情。"

我心里的挣扎他懂吗？

不后悔

你说你不能爱我。你不晓得当我听到这句话时，心里最后的一点希望和幸福一瞬间瓦解了。我在你面前掉下了眼泪。虽然你用手擦拭我脸颊的泪但是我并不觉得幸福。可是我不后悔和你做的任何事情因为我真的有爱你。